Fear of Belonging

I am at this conference about how to connect with others in a digital world. It’s in Franklin, TN, so of course, I stop in for breakfast at Merridee’s before it starts and have their egg and cheese croissant and a cup of coffee.  Observing the room, I overhear the table next to me, full of retired men; tell their “corporate” war stories. Around them are young and ambitious men and women with their MacBook’s, ready to take on the world. To think two different generations, two different ways of doing business, and two different ways of communication, sat in that restaurant.  I get up from my table and head over to the conference.  Listening to a full day of incredible speakers, I heard words like:

  • Show the raw and authentic you
  • Every story has a purpose
  • Come from a place of Yes
  • Don’t try to be something you’re not
  • Be transparent
  • If it’s not your genius, it’s not your job.
  • Fear blocks who you are
  • We struggle with a fear of belonging

Oh, that last one grabbed my attention.


I wanted to shout, YES!!


I wanted to stand up and scream, me, me, I admit it, I struggle with that fear. I struggle with the fear of belonging, the fear of not being good enough!

Instead, I did what everybody else did, stayed in my seat internally shouting, AMEN!

Sure, I ashamedly admit to feeling rejected or inadequate. Not qualified enough or not wanted.  Feeling replaceable or insignificant.

Indulge me. I’m being transparent.

I bet Eve was content with what she had until that dumb ol’ devil had her comparing herself to someone who had more. Convinced her that something was missing in her life and that ‘apple’ would make her more “like God”.

A foolish comparison, but all comparisons are.

If we are honest with ourselves, we do it all the time.

If I only I was like her.

If only I had a husband like hers.

If only my children…

If only…

We need to understand comparison will always leave us feeling like we are lacking something. We try to do more and be more, but it’s never enough. Can I get an Amen?!?! I’m preaching to myself here, too!

Comparison leaves us feeling insecure and makes us ask ourselves, “I wonder what’s wrong with me?”

Hmmm, last I checked God’s word didn’t change.

For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, - 1 Timothy 4:4

Here’s what needs to change – the way you think of yourself.

Stop believing the lies that the enemy wants you to believe.  If the devil can cast a shadow of doubt over God’s masterpiece-you-then he wins.


By keeping our mouth shut. By watching everyone around us doing their “thing” while we sit quietly doing nothing.  We become master to our flaws instead of master to the One that made us flawless.

When God asked Adam and Eve, who had told them they were naked or in other words, “who told you that something was wrong with you?” God acknowledged that there was someone casting shame on them – and it wasn’t Him.

We have to stop believing the lies.

We are good enough. We are forgiven. We are beautiful.

Not only that, but…

We have work to do. Work only we are qualified to do. Work that God put in us for such a time as this.

And, you know what?

We are qualified to do it.