There are days where I wonder if it’s worth blogging anymore.

The blogosphere has changed in the last four years when I started this blog.  Everyday my inbox is full of blog posts that I have subscribed to read their daily posts.  Unfortunately, a lot of them have shut their blogs down to spend their time doing other things. Part of me wonders if their story was finished or felt as though no one cared about their story.

When I started this blog I titled it “Michelle Sarabia”.  A few posts into writing, I knew this wasn’t about my story but His story.  The best, most famous, Author out there.  I committed this blog to writing His story.  Words that would pierce hearts just like Peter did in Acts 2.  Where words would change lives in an instant or keep the reader coming back for more because his heart needed to hear more.

More inspiration, more truth, more love, more Jesus.

It seems as though that all that blogs are about now is the bloggers story.  The story of cleaning, cooking, organizing, conferences, life circumstances being written all “in the name of Jesus”.

Can I ask a question….when does the piercing of the reader’s heart take place?

When the title of my blog was changed to Beyond Brave, I was out to lunch with a friend and I was telling her that I wanted to change the title of my blog to Brave.  As we talked about our stories and all that God has brought us through.  She looked at me and said what about calling it “Beyond Brave”.  I loved it because it was in moments like this, when having lunch with a friend and sharing some of your deepest yearnings for God.  Sharing each other’s hearts of lives being changed all because of Jesus.  Thus the subheading “When ordinary moments take extraordinary Faith”.  We left there feeling inspired, encouraged and excited in what God was going to do next in our lives.

Four years later, I find myself with such an aching for how our stories have affected His story.  See Jesus died on the cross for you and for me and the cool thing is He rose again.  Jesus told stories.  Two thousand years later His stories are still being used.  I’m afraid our own stories have hidden the true story and the Storyteller.

Just like my lunch with my friend, I want you to leave my blog feeling inspired and encouraged.  I want you to feel challenged to be better even as I challenge myself.  I don’t want any of my circumstances or situations to over shadow what God is doing in them. My hope is that I point you to the One who is the True Author and Finisher of your faith (Hebrews 12:2).

I don’t want to ever feel when I write and you read that you may think, “all she talks about is Jesus”. Sorry, but this isn’t high school and I’m not here to win a popularity contest.  I’m here to write words like David was in song.  I’m here leaving a digital footprint like Paul was when he challenged those to follow Christ.  I’m here to show love from my laptop to all over the world.

Bloggers continue to share your stories but let’s go back to the basics.

• Pray and ask God what He wants you to write about for today’s blog post, each day.
• Lead them to Christ not to your circumstance
• Let your readers see this Amazing God we have fallen in love with.  Let them know why we love Him.
• Lastly, point every story we tell back to Christ.

Remember this; He is the Author and Finisher of our faith.  He writes the once upon a time and happily ever after. It’s up to us what we write inside the pages of our books.

Hebrews 12:1-3 The Message Translation

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

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In the fall of 2011, I felt God asking me to begin peeling away from some things that I needed to step down from.  That I needed to become raw to Him.  That He wanted the core of my being.  No layers, just less of me and more of Him.

In 2012, I began a journey that I had no control over but only knew that I needed to walk in obedience.  I resigned from MOPS International as the Coordinator for Middle Tennessee after 7 years.  I finished up previous speaking engagements and asked some of my speaker-friends to fill in the gaps.  I stopped leading Bible Studies at our church and offering my help to any outside ministries.

Over the year I found myself in unfamiliar territory, an unfamiliar place.  I found the world I created was just that, a world created by me.

It hurt.  I didn’t want to accept it.

Layers.

How could I be so selfish? In the rawness, I saw a ministry I created and how God would just shake His head and wonder, “When is she ever going to get it?”  I wonder how many times He did that.

In my hurt, in my removing of flesh, it was as if a tug of war was going on.  A war of looking back with my eyes (Hhmmm, what does scripture say about that?) and seeing what has been accomplished.  I would ask God, “If I leave everything.  If I stop blogging, stop speaking, stop leading, stop teaching, then what was all of it for? Then I would find myself even more selfish by asking, “Will they remember me? I worked so hard to get where I’m at and you were there with me through it all.”  But God reminded me that He was there, I just put Him in the back seat while I drove.

In the spring of 2012, I began to only focus on my family and my full-time work.  Not looking for the next speaking gig or chasing something that I wanted and not what He wanted.

Peeling of layers, upon layers, upon layers.

In 2013 I couldn’t be more at peace with who I am.  I am so raw. The core of who I am sees herself in a mirror and only sees her as God sees her.  Hands lifted, eyes looking up with a smile on my face as I quietly just listen.  It’s funny how you teach it to others for so long and realize that over time you may lose yourself in the message.  You forget that we have to be a continuous work in progress.  Seasons may change but God never does.

There is peace in that.

In 2012, I threw up my hands and said no more.  If I am to do anything for you, then God you are going to have to open up the doors.  I am just a vessel that is yours to use for however you see fit.

It seemed as though the only thing I could hear was crickets.  Dead silence.

All I knew what to do was just to stay obedient to what He asked for me to do in 2011.

This year I can truly say that God has open every door that has come my way.  Not once did I go looking. Not once did I network to find the next big thing.  I just let God control my life.

When you do that, big things happen.

First it was Blissdom.  Having that incredible opportunity to be a speaker in Dallas was a highlight that I am thankful for.

A few weeks ago I received an email to speak at a Women’s Conference in Scottsdale in January 2014.  My eyes looked up and just smiled.  “God, I am yours to use.”

Now, recently, I won a contest.  The contest was to be on the book review group of Pursuing Justice and once in the group you have been entered to win an all-expense paid trip to a mission’s trip with Food for the Hungry.  When a friend contacted me to let me know I won, I didn’t quite remember entering for anything. I just wanted to read the book. (Which is unbelievable by the way!) I took a little over a week. Talked to my husband and the kids about it.  My husband is my biggest fan and encouraged me to, “just listen to what God wants for you”.  When I talked to my kids about it, our oldest daughter said “Mommy, you should go.  We all need to help those that need help the most.”  My heart was full.

I said….Yes to this.

I don’t know what God has for me but I realized these last few years that that is exactly where God wants me.  Me not controlling the who, what, when, where or even how but just letting God lead me.

I feel like a kid again.  Holding the hand of Jesus as he walks me to and from.  Kneels down, looks at me and smiles, points and says, “there”.

Raw, open and down to the core is where I am and where I want to stay.

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