Last week I had an eye-opening conversation with the Hubster. We were discussing the business and, like always, what’s coming in and what’s going out for the week. For a moment, I want to invite you in our home.
Discussing bills, and for us it’s personal and business, is not fun. There are weeks when everything is paid for and a little left over and there are some when something unexpected may have come up and we barely had enough to cover. We all have been there.
As wives, we like security; knowing that everything is ok. And just like the need for security or love, husbands need our respect; our trust in them. When I walked away from our “intense fellowship” moment, the Holy Spirit began to show me that – “Jose feels just like I feel when you don’t trust Me. When you have a fear that I will not come through or when you doubt my Word”.
Let’s just say there was a knot in the pit of my stomach.
Now I am no expert on marriage. Read my About page! I love to talk about Jesus, parenting, inspiring women, young and old, friendships or even my love for baking but marriage…I feel like I fail more than anything else in life.
Ephesians 5:22-33 are beautiful verses that not only lay out the design for marriage, but also the powerful relationship between Christ and His church. Our marriages are a living parable everyday to our children. As husbands represent Christ and wives represent the church, we begin to show our children what God is like in a more visible way through our marriages.
And for some, that is a hard pill to swallow.
4 Ways We Can Show Respect to Our Husbands
Today, I want to give you 4 ways we can show respect to our husbands. Remember, I am not expert, but simply my hope is that we look at the value of our words and attitudes towards our husbands and how they can either lift them up or tear them apart.
With His Work
For the most part our husbands go to work Monday through Friday, sometimes on the weekends or nights. It is a part of who they are. That is why most men start a conversation with “what do you do?” I think a lot of wives lose out on conversations they can make with their spouses because they want to separate him from his work – and yet, that work is the “what” he does most of the day. There are some of you that your husband’s rather not talk shop when he gets home, and we need to respect that.
- Let him know how much you appreciate the work that he does.
- Learn something about what he does because there will be times he needs you to understand.
- Just like you’d like him to ask you about your day, ask him about his.
- Support his dreams and passions.
- Send him thoughtful or encouraging texts while he’s at work. A suggestive one once-in-awhile is always fun too if you know what I mean. *wink*
- If he’s a coffee drinker, pour him and you a cup while sitting at the kitchen table before he leaves for work.
- Ask him the best line in Pretty Woman – “How was your day, dear?” Make sure you have a pretty tie on too *wink*
There are many places in the Bible where men are called to be leaders of the home, they’re given jobs to do and roles to fill, but you are probably the most important piece of the puzzle. Why? Because people will be looking to see how he leads his family, how he cares for them, and whether his family respects him. What you show or do not show reflects on him even more in this environment.
- Encourage him in his gifts and talents.
- Talk positively about him with your friends.
- Always check with him before making commitments that include him.
- If you have a question about something in the sermon, ask him first before going to the Pastor. We need to hold our husbands in high regard first.
- If your husband doesn’t ordinarily attend, then praise him when he does.
- Thank him for taking the family to church.
- When it comes to men’s groups in the church – don’t patronize him to sign up for one.
- Don’t make fun of his style of worship
In most cases, you are the homemaker of the home. Whether you work or stay at home, you set the tone of it. How clean or messy it is or what colors go on what walls. For the most part we are given free reign. However, he will still want to claim some area as his– the man cave, an office, the garage. There has to be some space that he is allowed to be as unorganized as he wants and that he can call his own. It’s a guy thing.
- Allow him to have a space that he can call his.
- Be his wife, he already has a mother.
- Ask if he has any requests for meals he would like to eat this week. In my case, I ask him is there anything he wants to make this week since he loves to cook, but can’t always have the time.
- Thank him for the things that he gets accomplished around the house.
- Watch your words when talking about a feature of the house you do not like – most likely he’s providing for it and he could take it as a complaint on him or his ability to provide for the family.
- Make your home a sanctuary when he comes home, but don’t stress over being perfect.
In Front of the Kids
Your kids are watching and nowhere are order and respect more important than in front of them. Nowhere is that harder to do then at home. You’re in charge all day. You make decisions, maintain discipline, teach, and be all that your kids need. When your husband arrives home, it can be easy to look at him as another person needing something from you or to look at him as the knight that has come to rescue you so that you can have a moment’s peace and “veg” out.
- Remember that Pretty Women moment? Yep, do that again!
- If you have a concern about how he handled something, don’t question him in front of the kids.
- Get his input on decisions, especially big ones.
- If you ask his opinion, make sure you follow through – otherwise don’t ask.
- If he tells the kids something (either they can or can’t do something), don’t change it!
- Be on the same page when it comes to raising your kids.
- Teach your kids a healthy fear and respect for their father.
- Fathers can get the impression that they’re just a wallet– teach gratitude.
- The tone you use and the way you speak to your husband is the way your children will speak to him also.
- Make your husband a priority over the kids.
- Make date night a priority in your marriage.
Your husband is not perfect and neither are we, but if we understand the words in Ephesians 5, the love we have for each other will wipe out all fear, all doubt, all disrespect. Our words will change to praise, honor, thankfulness, and love, because we see Christ in him.